Feralivinea rubrum
Listen here, numbskulls. I’ve read so-called “doctor†Wyndenhart’s published article on Feralivinea rubrum and whoever was so gutsy to have “peer-reviewed†that toxic sludge dump must have had Jekalomora eyes, because literally every. Single. Word. Out. Of. Her. Mouth. Is. Complete. Garbage. I want the idiot PI who hooded her spineless frame shot down, taxidermied twiddling their tiny Linfroggles, photographed, and printed on every textbook front cover with an apology letter scrawled across their forehead for permitting this bonehead astrobullshitter to enter the world of academia. Based on what I just had the sheer unfortunance to read, I don’t think Wyndumbhart has never even been to Skaoi IV. I would pay her triple what her idiot patron Rimwich does just to get her slimy paws off of that planet.
There is absolutely NO way that Feralivinea rubrum, or “Red Vines†ever existed. FIRSTLY, there is only ONE thing worse than a Red Vine. BOOM. A Twizzler. SECONDLY, Red Vines and Deathcatheters couldn’t have been in different taxonomic orders if they were in the same family (oh my god they were rankmates). THIRDLY, I’m entirely certain that everyone on Wyndenhart’s ship is equally as moronic. Acid rain and The Giant Dividing Wall? More like can’t explain Narbhal. FOURTHLY, Ventrilo work ahead? Uh yeah I SURE HOPE IT DOES. FIFTHLY, dallywinged glidosaurs? WHAT ARE THOSE?.
Don’t fuck with me. I have the power of GOD and The Amazing Aakkchut on my side.
DOCTOR Ersatz Scrivener