Linfroggles
This is an excerpt from the CDS-RU Metaphysics Department's report on linfroggles, which have been heavily researched in the recent months. Translated from the original Oq'r'a'astaki.
Ah, linfroggles. The most twiddly, froggly contraptions ever to fall into CDS hands. This could very well mark the turning point that brings an end to this great regime's struggles. The Confederation shall not be matched once linfroggles have been employed into the royal ranks! All shall kneel and tremble before the Democratic Ianthine Caconymic King! He shall twiddle his linfroggle, and all shall weep!
We digress. The purpose of this report is to discuss how these so-called "linfroggles" function, which our researchers have painstakingly uncovered these last few months. We have discovered that the linfroggles take advantage of zero-point energy to create a magnetic monopole which produces energy by powering a perpetuum mobile, which in turn powers an infrared flashlight which shines on a very, very small shoe (a pico-shoe, if you will) which starts to heat up, creating a stench of burning rubber and alarming the pico-elves living inside, who then simply use magic to do whatever task the linfroggle is meant to accomplish. The linfroggles will be delivered to the CDS-RU Anthropology Department to study these elves pending further research in the Metaphysics Department.
The final linfroggle.
In our testing, we discovered a most curious property of these devices which unfortunately resulted in great tragedy. As our team was twiddling and detwidding the linfroggles, it happened we twiddled all but one, which one of our researches proceeded to twiddle. The loss of life in this incident was unprecedented, so we shall have a 25-day moment of silence, one second for each life lost.
(Please do not continue reading until the full 25 days has passed)
Thank you.
We caution all those who have been twiddling their linfroggles to never, we repeat never, twiddle the final linfroggle. We certainly do not want a repeat of the unfortunate events of that day.
Dr. Q. O'oo'o''ors'in & Dr. K'lub
P.S. Not that we're at war the FRP, of course, just eh... theoretical studies.
Excerpt submitted by Ambassador Q''ins'mat' vin Qoo'o'rik'''