The Obvious

Look, Director, I've told you once and I'll tell you again, there's no such thing as the FRPS Obvious. I mean, it's right in the name, isn't it? If there really were a covert-ops Mimestry capital ship, it'd be pretty, well, obvious. You can't just hide an entire capital ship with "secret mime tricks passed down from the dawn of mimery". If the Mimestry had the technology to make their ships undetectable, wouldn't it be seeing use in the War of Whimsy? Yet the Galactic Jape japes on.

Though, while we are on the subject of conspiracy theories, I'd like to share one of my own. As we all know, mimes are unable to speak, lest they meet a tragic end. But I've been thinking, a mime with a neural-computer interface and a sufficiently advanced text-to-speech program could appear to be talking, without violating their taboo. Wouldn't that be just the thing? We'd have to ratchet up our alert level by two linfroggles. I'm sure we have nothing to worry about. I did the math and it's not cost-effective to take any preventative measures.

Anyway, I understand your concern, what with Mr. Dyer's disappearance in the chaos of the mime rescue mission, but there's no rational warrant for thinking that the Mimestry is up to any of this cloak-and-dreadnought business. We're here on Skaoi IV to do survey research, not galactic politics. It's not worth my time to worry about such things when I have to deal with the drivel-filled reports your "scientists" keep bringing back for Xenocryst. Some of these can't even be verified because the "researchers" keep wiping out the local wildlife.

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Ersatz Scrivener, Director of Amendations