"See You Space Mime"
No point being dramatic about it: I had no idea that my orchestra was staffed by Mimestry sleeper agents. I had thought that my mission, as a covert agent of the Silent Inquisition assigned to the FRPS Obvious, was to uncover the plans of the Superclowncil on Skaoi IV. Evidently, however, before I even arrived on that blasted planet, the Inquisition knew enough to sabotage the Superclowncil's plans. Here I thought that I was the rogue element for daring to use scraps of Jape necromancy, and the whole time, CDS-RU was using it to manifest their god. What a ruse! This'll teach me to get involved in galactic politics. I'm speechless. (Okay, I'm always speechless, but you get the point.)
So where don't I end up in all of this? Well, unlike you, Director, I don't think I'm going to be able to keep my job as the Director of Occasional Music. I know you and the research team have had their issues with my direction of the Portable Orchestra Corps, and in particular my insistence that nearly every situation calls for ominous music. I'd like to think that the events of this research expedition have vindicated me, but I think you'll miss me for a different reason: the one they're sending from Terra to replace me was cursed by a Jape to be unable to play anything but the Sexy Sax Man song. You'll get tired of it eventually, trust me.
But enough about where I'm not. Where am I? Officially, I and my percussionist thrall are listed as MIA. Yes, I intercepted the coded communications to the rescue team about my arrest. But it turns out you're harder to arrest when your zombie-mine-spider-dragon flies you over to a fully armed and operational battleship. (I apologize about the casualties, by the way. I thought the omnisuits would help a bit more than they did.) Once the rest of the Corps was taken up to the ship, exactly where the Mimestry played us both to get them, I piloted the Nundernall back to the Obvious. 'course, because it's an undetectable ship, I couldn't find it again, and the Skaoi system was too hot for them to hail me without breaking their cover. You see my predicament.
Where does that leave me? With my cover blown, I doubt any arm of the FRP will want to do with me, and the Inquisition will disown me if I'm lucky. If I'm not, they'll make sure I disappear for good. With that necromancy on my record, I don't stand much of a chance anywhere else. So, I'm going rogue. I hitched the Nundernall's grappling hook to a passing world-worm, and by the time you receive this transmission, I'll be long gone from the Skaoi system. I'll wing it from there. This galaxy is full of adventure these days.
Clandestyne Dyer, Esq., Former Director of Occasional Music