Lester

In Jester-Sage mythology, Lester is the patron deity of bigness. A careful distinction is drawn between bigness and other such qualities as magnitude, size, or being large. A large rock does not please Lester, for it merely has size; what the acolytes of Lester reverence are things that make present, one might say instantiate or hypostasize, bigness. The canonical textbook on the subject, whose title is abbreviated An Investigative Study Into the Objective Quality of Bigness and Its Relation to the Subject, was written by the eminent researcher Dr. Verdes. Because of the depth of her grasp of the concept of bigness, this book is too large for any practical use whatsoever, which, in a way, is a passable summary. Outside of academia, Lester's name is used to allude to something being too large to be useful, often with the implication of being so in a grandiose way.

The most well-known myths about Lester are probably those that concern his horn, Gigantuba. It is said that when Yottamince arises to consume Zettamince, Lester will engage her in battle, but he will be defeated by her Last Punchline. Then Lester will breathe his last dying breath through Gigantuba, heralding the Final Hoodwink with a dirge that will shake the foundations of the world.

Among the sacred mimes, there exists a fringe school of thought that claims that the WN vibrations are the dirge of Gigantuba and thus that the apocalypse is already underway. Battle sightings of Zettamince have, of course, long since disproven this theory. Unable to speak up in their own defense, these conspiracy theorists left government and took out their frustrations by designing obnoxious user interfaces for starships.

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Tyne Dyer, Esq., Director of Occasional Music