Ventrilo
E'er since the cap'n been tootin along at the Cytorius Gate I been havin me own bit 'o trouble on the ship. Here I been hearin' the engine repeat back whatever I said last, instead of followin' its commands like it oughta.
So here be a manual for yeh, should ya find yerself in a pickle quite like this one. I hereby motion that this guide be added to the permanent list of records to be read by all first-year engine operation students and committed to memory.
First. Yer symptoms. Try asking the engine to start, and instead it says, "Engine start" back at yeh. Try asking the engine to stop, and instead it says, "Stop it, engine" back at yeh. Try angrily commanding the engine to not repeat ev'rythin ya be sayin, and instead, "Stop copying me," it says in tat heelforsakin' tone so normal it be insultin' without any action ta speak of, dash it ta bits.
Second. After ya calm down, and remember yer protocols, ya of course start to ask the engine ta pull up yer manuals. This o' course doesn't do anything ya want.
Third. Contact the ground crew from the main deck. Ask what they've recently explored, and most importantly, what linfroggles they've twiddled. Almost certainly, they've twiddled exactly one-third of the linfroggles, thus setting off the engine's Ventrilo mode, a long-forgotten "feature" some clippity no-skoke must've added back when miff speed was a rote's hair. Request them to kindly detwid the linfroggles, then retwid every second one twiddled before, then every sec'nd one of those left, then every sec'd one of those left, and so un, until there be jus' one left.
Fourth. DO NOT TWIDDLE THE FINAL LINFROGGLE.
To say ya got ta do it all over again would be a horrific understatement of what fuss follows the final linfroggle's floop. I jus' take care instead, and save the space of instre'chn ta say
DO NOT under any circumstances, I say, DO NOT twiddle the final linfroggle.
If powers tat be at headquarters could possibly deign to try to remove the Ventrilo "feature" from space engine hardware, it be highly appreciated from tis here operator.
Montglimmery Scott, D.N.