Kelsey Khatun
Case Notes: 4552524f52
Author: Agent Agent
PoI: Kelsey Khatun
Known aliases: Kelsey Khan
Wanted for: Third-degree bureaucracy\\
Date: December 14, 2556
Khatun. Only her subtle mix of incompetence and diabolical genius could result in getting wanted for over-practice of bureaucracy in Neohouston, of all places. Unfortunately, due to the very crimes she committed and the legal weight they nevertheless carry, we (on paper just Neohouston Central, but Central, the one not in Neohouston, has priviledges as a federal entity {I hate red tape I hate red tape I hate red tape}) were only able to get an in-person search warrant for her cell phone. There's good news though. Khatun is a known transhumanist, one of the earliest adopters of nanotech well over a century ago- records about her tend to go missing, so despite having a high profile her past is murky. That means her phone will be in a nice, hard to reach place, and while the prosthetics will be costly, she'll be on pain meds in the station during recovery- a beautiful, paperwork-free legal-but-warrantless chemically enhanced interrogation. Technically? Free to go. In reality? Can't find the door. Perfect.
Now, what's a little excessive bureaucracy have to do with 4552524f52? Unknown, but I have a hunch, and I filled out form G-5621b7 "Detective's Hunch, No Not Like The Back" {I HATE RED TAPE} in triplicate, so into the file she goes. Khatun is a known enemy of the Aesops, and her showing up in Neohouston right as shit hits the fan with that particular group seems like too much of a coincidence. Here's to hoping she can crack the case wide open.
Date: December 16, 2556
Damn! I thought I'd have a chance getting something out of her while in a pain-killer stupor, but at least when she's sober she'll talk after you fill out enough forms. It was all, "hey bb what're u doing later ;)))" and "shhhhhhh shh shh. I wanna tell you a seeecret, just for you. Did you know..... clowns secretly rule the world? Don tell aaaaaanyone, 'k?" and "It's ironic, you know? These days I'm mostly compuners, no, compupers, no, complacencies, ah you know what I mean, but I can never get the damn things to work!" and "honk". The only useful thing she slurred out was "look, I don't know what Detective Eff N. Freer... more like effin pain in the ass if you ask me amirite roflmao but yeah idk what he thinks he's doing poking around Fossegrim, but this arms deal HAS to go right, know what I mean? I've pulled all the irons, and I've got a lotta strings in the fire, and those damn bots better make their move soon, and hey do you have any wine around here? Anyway as I was saying about birds..."
And there's one of those damn future-links again. I swear, the discovery of paratech was the worst thing that happened to detective work. Anyway. An arms deal is bad news. I have Central's cryptographers working on decyphering Khatun's employment records- if they get a breakthrough, we might at least know who she's brokering the deal for. I need a drink, or maybe ten.
Agent Agent