The Diaries of Hog
The Diaries of Hog are a collection of articles written by a young Jekalomora named Hog. They detail the lives and society of these beautiful and intelligent creatures. They were discovered in a field of tall grasses near one of the abandoned buildings of The Kelornac Expanse by Lieutenant Redshirt and Ambassador vin Qoo'o'rik''' of the Ogden shortly after landing. While the Lieutenant dismissed the journal as some child's rambling thoughts (likely going through puberty, as he said), the vin Qoo'o'rik''' quickly recognized the documents to be of great cultural significance. An excerpt follows:
23 Hoonsmin 1195,
Roight, croikey, cheerio. I've fin'lly gone and dunnit fis toime. I'm fin'lly gettin' Alra tew go tew th' Jekrons Festival wif me. There ain't no chance she'll reject me fis toime. I've set up th' perfec trap fer 'er so NO MUM I'VE ALREADY GAVVERED TH' POO! NO MUM, I'M EDGY! No don't write that down, choo moron! Blimey. Anyways this toime it's foolproof. She'll be on me loike a pack of those spoider fings. Speakin' a wot, I saw a pack of 'em chasin' down Ranner th' other day. Ain't that crackers? I 'ope 'e's fin'lly got 'isself killed. 'E'll jus look at'choo and choo can't 'elp but tew 'ate 'im, cor?
One cannot help but to feel one's heartstrings being pulled by the young amphibian's elegant writing, as dictated to what was likely his krobo, which is an inferior monkey-like species that has served the Jekalomora for generations. This text gives crucial insights into Jekalomora culture, and it is currently under intense scrutiny by the CDS Royal University Anthropology Department. They are expected to give an in-depth report on this culture in the coming few weeks.
Ambassador Q''ins'mat' vin Qoo'o'rik'''